Flush Gordon
This isn't happening, Dale. We're not here. It's just a bad dream.
It's two years now since my first visit to the planet Mongo and my encounter with the evil Emperor Bring Your Uterus. The Ruler of the Universe saw fit to bestow tumours on my ovaries and so, one laparoscopy and a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy later, and Flush was alive!
To misquote Prince Vultan, it's one hell of a planet the menopause comes from. Mine's medical, but irrespective, the symptoms are merciless.
I'm in my early 40s and have pretty much a full house of symptoms: insomnia; fatigue; irritability; night sweats; but by far the worst are the hot flushes. I'm not alone - around 75% of women suffer - and actually, my family suffers too.
I can be found peering through the window at family gatherings, as I stand outside barefoot and partially clad in all weathers, trying to cool down. My husband will be in several layers, huddled under a 25 Tog duvet, while I'm laying on top of the covers, partially clad, with the window open in the depth of winter. At work, I've fans on and under my desk. I'm adept at stripping off while performing other essential tasks - is this perhaps why women have the ability to multitask?
But that intense rush of heat feels like internal combustion, and makes you wonder if you're going mad.
Female hysteria was once a medial diagnosis, but for women only. A little exclusivity there to make us feel special. Symptoms of sufferers included fainting, nervousness, insomnia, fluid retention, a "heavy abdomen", shortness of breath, irritability, increased or decreased libido and appetite, and a tendency to cause trouble. Perhaps it's just me, but one or more of those symptoms have been with me pretty much my entire life.
In extreme cases, women may have been forcibly interred in an asylum, or to undergo a surgical hysterectomy. It seems ill-considered that the symptoms of female hysteria would have led to an operation that would result in those same symptoms and incidentally is referred to as male - menopause. Rude, frankly.
Dispatch HRT rocket a-patch to bring back my sanity! Flush, I hate you! But I only have fourteen years (or so) to live through this dearth!
It's two years now since my first visit to the planet Mongo and my encounter with the evil Emperor Bring Your Uterus. The Ruler of the Universe saw fit to bestow tumours on my ovaries and so, one laparoscopy and a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy later, and Flush was alive!
To misquote Prince Vultan, it's one hell of a planet the menopause comes from. Mine's medical, but irrespective, the symptoms are merciless.
I'm in my early 40s and have pretty much a full house of symptoms: insomnia; fatigue; irritability; night sweats; but by far the worst are the hot flushes. I'm not alone - around 75% of women suffer - and actually, my family suffers too.
I can be found peering through the window at family gatherings, as I stand outside barefoot and partially clad in all weathers, trying to cool down. My husband will be in several layers, huddled under a 25 Tog duvet, while I'm laying on top of the covers, partially clad, with the window open in the depth of winter. At work, I've fans on and under my desk. I'm adept at stripping off while performing other essential tasks - is this perhaps why women have the ability to multitask?
But that intense rush of heat feels like internal combustion, and makes you wonder if you're going mad.
Female hysteria was once a medial diagnosis, but for women only. A little exclusivity there to make us feel special. Symptoms of sufferers included fainting, nervousness, insomnia, fluid retention, a "heavy abdomen", shortness of breath, irritability, increased or decreased libido and appetite, and a tendency to cause trouble. Perhaps it's just me, but one or more of those symptoms have been with me pretty much my entire life.
In extreme cases, women may have been forcibly interred in an asylum, or to undergo a surgical hysterectomy. It seems ill-considered that the symptoms of female hysteria would have led to an operation that would result in those same symptoms and incidentally is referred to as male - menopause. Rude, frankly.
Dispatch HRT rocket a-patch to bring back my sanity! Flush, I hate you! But I only have fourteen years (or so) to live through this dearth!
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Thanks for ranting!