Calm: Karma: Calmest

I'm not a Buddhist (Roman Catholic actually), but I do believe in Karma.

I'm not suggesting a Jules-type "great vengeance and furious anger", but I'm firmly of the opinion that if you're prepared to wait, the deeds and misdeeds you're served will be visited upon the perpetrator.

I've seen some cracking revenge tactics in my time. I elaborate here only to demonstrate how original they were, and their replication in this blog in no way constitutes my endorsement of any of these methods as a way of getting even, or for any other reason.

Recipe 1
Ingredients: deep pile carpet (preferably light coloured), water, mustard cress seeds
Process: liberally douse carpet with water. Sow seeds. Put central heating on max. Leave.

Recipe 2
Ingredients: car, fish food flavouring
Process: locate car air intake, add fish food flavouring. Leave.

Recipe 3
Ingredients: car, brake fluid, paint brush
Process: load paint brush with brake fluid. Be creative on car surface. Leave.
NB rain garnish required for full effect

Recipe 4
Ingredients: cheating partner, telephone
Process: advise partner of highly contagious, probably dormant STD and recommend they contact their recent sexual partners. Dump them.

10 years ago, Nickleback released Dark Horse: track 10 on that album is entitled "If Today Was Your Last Day" and poses questions of what you would do if today was (you guessed it) your last day.

Would you forgive your enemies?

The song inevitably makes me consider those who've wronged me over the years. Burning indignation and wild dreams of revenge served like Gazpacho have dissipated as I've gotten perspective on the situations. In fact, I can honestly say that the majority merely stir a low level of indifference. 

One or two really special people, however, will know my name is Kelly when I lay my vengeance upon them. 


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