The eBay monster
When I was a little girl, monsters lived under my bed. Until my parents bought me a bedside lamp, getting into bed after turning off the big light necessitated a running leap from a distance so they couldn't catch me (the monsters, not my parents). And hopefully my landing with force on the mattress would concuss them.
When I was a bit older, I determined that monsters were a figment of my imagination. I'd been promoted to a double divan and there was no room for them underneath.
Now I'm considerably older, I realise monsters do exist. Take eBay.
The eBay monster is a split personality. It has a friendly face and enticing nature, but bites twice. Once infected, nothing will rid you of the craving.
It preyed on me when I was a new-mum for the second time. First time, I'd kept everything, like an extended memory box, excepting those items stained with the mysterious orange baby mark, which nothing removes. Just as well I did hoard, when baby number two also turned out to be pink flavour.
But as micro-me grew out of things, and based on our decision to actually sleep at some point in the next few years ie not have another, I did what many mothers with too-special-to-throw-away stuff do; I started an eBay pile.
The eBay monster works by stealth. It grows exponentially, developing from a well-ordered pile into a wobbly ogre, before its final manifestation as demon of indeterminate size. And it's living in my spare room, waiting for its next meal.
The second bite is a killer. It's usually contracted via an App. Incubation periods vary, but once contracted, recovery is a bitch. Symptoms include: heightened auditory cortex function, attuned to the 15-minute warning; hypermobility in your dominant thumb, for optimum scroll; mild tachycardia, resting or otherwise, particularly approaching winning bid time; and bulimia of the bank account.
I confess to having contracted eBay disease. I just need to muster the enthusiasm and time to slay the outgoing monster - penury will kill the rest.
When I was a bit older, I determined that monsters were a figment of my imagination. I'd been promoted to a double divan and there was no room for them underneath.
Now I'm considerably older, I realise monsters do exist. Take eBay.
The eBay monster is a split personality. It has a friendly face and enticing nature, but bites twice. Once infected, nothing will rid you of the craving.
It preyed on me when I was a new-mum for the second time. First time, I'd kept everything, like an extended memory box, excepting those items stained with the mysterious orange baby mark, which nothing removes. Just as well I did hoard, when baby number two also turned out to be pink flavour.
But as micro-me grew out of things, and based on our decision to actually sleep at some point in the next few years ie not have another, I did what many mothers with too-special-to-throw-away stuff do; I started an eBay pile.
The eBay monster works by stealth. It grows exponentially, developing from a well-ordered pile into a wobbly ogre, before its final manifestation as demon of indeterminate size. And it's living in my spare room, waiting for its next meal.
The second bite is a killer. It's usually contracted via an App. Incubation periods vary, but once contracted, recovery is a bitch. Symptoms include: heightened auditory cortex function, attuned to the 15-minute warning; hypermobility in your dominant thumb, for optimum scroll; mild tachycardia, resting or otherwise, particularly approaching winning bid time; and bulimia of the bank account.
I confess to having contracted eBay disease. I just need to muster the enthusiasm and time to slay the outgoing monster - penury will kill the rest.
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Thanks for ranting!